Jensen Airlines Commercial
by yukikoneko1990
Summary: Just a bit of crack! Summary inside! Enjoy!


**So this is how the story goes. My best friend and I were bored stiff. I was ****_miles _****away from home and we were sending messages to each other. At one moment she said something blasphemous and I said that we were soooo both going to Hell for that. **

**She agreed (of course) and since we're both IN LOVE with Jensen Ackles we invented Jensen Airlines. Three hours later (and some painful laughing) we had a WHOLE commercial planned out.**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

(Two young girls walk into the Airport and walk over to a smiling assistant (Jo Harvelle) who is typing something or another on a computer)

**Good morning.** (One of them says with a smile and Jo smiles back at them)

**How can I help you?** (Jo asks and one of the girls shows her a pamphlet)

**We would like two one way tickets to hell; and make it Jensen Airlines - We prefer to travel with stile.**

(In that moment the scene shifts to inside of an airplane with Dean dressed like the captain.)

**JENSEN AIRLINES**

**AN OFFER YOU CAN'T SAY NO TO!**

**Welcome.** (He says and starts guiding the tour of the plane) **In Jensen Airlines YOU are the ones who matter most. We are so good not even Muslims want to destroy us by flying us into a building.**

(Bobby walks over and takes a seat with a book in his hand)

**Jensen Airlines - the best way to travel.**(He says and starts to read his book; Missouri walks into the scene)

**For your safety, insurance against demons and other supernatural beings is included in the price.**

(Ruby walks into the scene and winks at the camera)

**Here at Jensen Airlines we encourage that you, in case of turbulence, sit on Dean and make the best of it!**

(Scene cut to Dean sitting in the cockpit waving at the camera. We go back to Ruby and Meg joins her on the scene to say her part)

**In the case of a water landing**(Ruby raises a sign that says: Plane crashes into the ocean!)**you can use Dean as a flotation device.**

**Also, in the case of pressure change**(Ruby says while Meg raises a sign which says: Roof flies off!)**you can use Dean for mouth to mouth air exchange.**

(We switch to a scene of John Winchester in the First Class and he says his part as he looks at the camera over the top of his News papers)

**A flight with Jensen Airlines is a flight to Heaven, Hell and back.**

(We go on to a scene with Dean and Jo at the airport and they are giving a pamphlet to a group of tourists.)

**If you make a reservation right away you can win a reward trip to Castiel's Island - heavenly fun guaranteed.**(Dean says and Castiel walks into the scene with a confused look, while Dean turns to the camera and winks.)

**Jensen Airlines.** (he says and gives us a devilish smirk)** L****ike flying with Angels.**

(Ellen walks into the scene with Jo.)

**You should also take into consideration that if you call in the next half hour you will get a first hand experience with demonic possession!**

(Jo grins and takes on where her mother left off) **Don't miss this**_**outstanding**_**offer! Call us today!**

(We skip back to the cockpit where Dean is turned towards the camera and we see the back of the co-pilot chair and the top of someone's head)

**If you pay extra 50 dollars you get an exorcism by our co-pilot - Sam.**(The chair spins around and Sam waves at us and Dean continues with his introduction) **Sam has a lot of experience! Not only is he a first-class demon exorcist, he also has experience with demon-possession, demon-blood addiction, demon killing, demon fucking AND falling for demonic mind tricks - you are**_**absolutely**_**safe with him!**

(Sam smiles at Dean and looks at the camera)

**You can also trust Dean!** (He says and the camera turns to Dean for a moment; he winks at the camera and we go back to Sam)**Not only that he sold his soul to the devil he also tortured people, played Death AND jump-started the apocalypse.**

(We skip the scene back to the airport where John is walking to the terminal)

**So you see Jensen Airlines will make sure your journey is as safe as possible. We hope to see you soon!**

(The screen goes dark with a message written in dark red)

**We hold no responsibility for any demonic deals, body and mind injuries, deformations, phobias and/or near death experiences you may live through during the journey. You are traveling on your own responsibility. May God have mercy on your soul.**

(We go back to the standard commercial and we see Dean eating a piece of pie. Missouri comes to the scene with a plate of fresh pie)

**We also serve pie during the flight!**(She said and we skip the scene to the back of the plane where we see Jess)

**For your own amusement we present you with our very own family agita galore! You can choose between daddy problems or my-brother-is-a-demon-blood-addict-who-got-possessed-by-a-demon-and-kicked-the-living-daylights-out-of-me problems and all for the same price - your very own soul!**(She smiles and Sam walks into the scene. He kisses her and looks at the camera)

**Jensen Airlines; it's the ONLY way to travel!**

(We skip scenes again and see John walking through the cargo room where various weapons are at display)

**During the flight you can enjoy our very own collection of various murder weapons and equipment. You also get a quick course in drawing your own Devil's Trap.**

(We go back to the cockpit where Dean is looking through old cassettes)

**During the flight we play famous old rock songs such as: Highway to Hell, Wanted dead or alive, Smoke on the water and a bonus song by your very own Sam: My daddy shot your daddy in the head!**

(We skip scenes and find ourselves in a small room with dimmed lights. Anna is on the bed in a black negligee)

**Just for you, in our 5 star airplane, we added an extra section called The Impala - a place to have sex with Dean.**

(Dean walks into the scene, winks at Anna and walks out of the room. He speaks directly into the camera as the plane shakes. He walks down the isle as if nothing is going on)

**During the flight if you see aliens or the plane crashes and you wake up in the same plane, know that you've met the Trickster! We have no idea how to control him, so it can happen on any of the flights - no extra charge!**(He walks off of the scene and Sam walks in)

**As a special deal we offer you advice from Chuck; our very own Prophet of the Lord.**(He passes beside Chuck, who is sitting in his seat. He waves at the camera and Crowley walks over to stand beside Sam who smiles at him before looking at the camera again) **If you find your future unfit, you can make a deal with the very King of Crossroads Demons; Crowley. By the laws of Market we are forced to warn you that the price of the deal would probably be your soul, but who needs one anyway!**

(We go back to Dean who is sitting beside Castiel; the Angel is looking at a pamphlet in confusion while Dean speaks to the camera)

**If you are in a hurry we also offer the quickest way to travel - zapping via Angel. WARNING!** (He stresses with a serious look)**It leaves you unable to poop for a week.**

(We jump scene and find ourselves with John and Bobby who are holding a few books in their hands)

**We also ensure your safety with a crash course in identifying, finding, salting and burning the body of a vengeful spirit. Please, be aware that the spirits can and will hurt you. In the case of yellow fever you can consult with Dean about curing it. His extraordinary bedside manners will keep you alive.** (The two share a look and then look back at the camera before speaking together)**Hopefully.**

(As we wrap up the commercial everyone gathers in front of the airport. Dean stands in the front and says the punch-line as he salutes the camera)

**Travel light with Jensen Airlines - all you need for the flight is your soul.**

**Have a safe trip.**(He winks at the camera and we fade into blackness with 'Carry on my wayward son' playing in the background)

* * *

**I hope you at least had a few laughs!**

**Tell me what you think! **


End file.
